Stay Little Forever

There was a time when I never understood why people wanted their kids to stay babies forever. I thought it was for obvious selfish reasons like babies are cute and squishy and don't talk back, yada yada. Well my sweet squishy ten month old is laying asleep in my arms now, and as I stare at his peaceful little face I get it. I want him to stay this little forever. There will be a time not far from now that he will be too big to fit in the nook of my elbow and across my lap all cuddly and comfortably. There will be a time when he will lie to me, roll his eyes and dislike me. He will get his feelings hurt at school and experience physical and emotional pain that will break my helpless heart to witness. He will grow and go out into the world and I can't protect him in all the ways I can now. There will be a time when his face won't light up over every airplane in the sky or puppy that walks past us. He won't bat an eye at the little things that are huge accomplishments for him now, or pay any attention to the details in our surroundings that he's unknowingly taught me to. As a parent it's my job to instill the values and remind him to hold onto these special childhood traits, but there's only so much I can do and the rest will be up to him. There will be outside influences that will effect him and circumstances that will put our relationship through highs and lows. When I start to daydream about the future and how he will become a real boy, teenager and man, I can't help but have a mild panic attack mixed with all the worries in the world and want to rush back down to earth, to right now in this moment where he's asleep in my arms with no flaws, no broken heart, no sins, no judgement and no corruption. Right now where we are totally in sync and in love and connected. Just a purely genuine, happy and innocent little being that laughs nonstop and brings true positivity to his surroundings. He radiates joy and raw, uncorrupt love that I never want to lose. As parents we only get to experience this sweet bond for such a short amount of time. Sure you always have a special relationship, but I can imagine it will be totally different in the future as he gets older. It's sad and I dread it but it will happen one day and for that I say please stay little forever, sweet baby Leo.

Drey $ Nicole